Filling the Void

Tuesday

Jan182011

Tuesday, January 18, 2011 at 12:21AM

Sometimes people are placed in your life for reasons you don’t see for years. When I was little, my best friend Hillary and I spent a lot of time at her house. I can recall many weekend BBQs at her Grandparents Peg and Larry’s house. I learned to play pool in their basement. I first played Badminton in her Great-aunt Anne’s & Great-uncle Jack’s San Diego back yard. I was invited to many family birthdays and even spent a few holidays with them. They were the family I never had. Not to say that I was without an actual family. But I was the third of four kids. My oldest sister moved out when I was six. My next-oldest sister is five years my senior and at that point, we really didn’t have much in common (if only we knew then how much we would love each other now…). So, I went with my surrogate family whenever invited.

Hillary’s Mom Cindy was a class act. The woman always looked good. She was an amazing cook. She loved to bake. She celebrated everything. Everyone got a birthday cake. She made the greatest Halloween costumes; most of which she wouldn’t reveal until the big night! Oh, the suspense!

I always knew I loved her. But it wasn’t until I became a mother that I realized how much she molded me. She was such a great example to me. Sure, she had her moments. But Lord knows Hil and I tested that woman’s patience. It’s an art form, really. She was a stern monther. But I knew deep down, it was all out of love.

Today, Tuesday, January 18, 2011, Cindy would have turned 63. She must be putting her hands on her hips, cocking her head to the side as I tell her age. But I wanted to celebrate her life today. I felt a void in my own mother-daughter relationship growing up that was filled by Cindy with love, structure, Bocky-Chicken Casserole, English tea, Sour Dough toast with butter and honey and good lessons. Thank you Cindy for mothering me the way you did. I love you and miss you more than you will ever know.