Autism awareness ~ A moms journey

Today's post written by my sweet, real life friend Gina. She is the momma of three wonderful children. Today she is telling Luke's story...he is amazing and we love having them in our lives. Thank you Gina for writing this real life look at Autism.

It's getting easier now to go to the park with all of my children together.
I actually went to the park on my own for the first time with all three on Monday.
That's right, the first time.
Luke has always been a runner (eloping, they call it).
He just takes off without looking back.
You can see the potential danger there.
Especially when you have a baby in your arms.
If there are balloons or balls around it adds an even greater challenge.
Luke obsesses over them and relentlessly reaches and grabs them regardless of who has them or who else might be playing with them.
So we cannot go to the park unless we take our own ball for Luke.
But today we did have a couple of tantrums. And people look at you really strange when your big six-year old cries like an 18-month old. Loud.
But I have grown a pretty thick skin when it comes to other people's looks.
No one has ever actually said anything mean.
They do see that Luke is a little (okay, a lot) different from other kids immediately.
And in a way, that helps.
No need to worry about what I'm going to say when they ask because most of the time they don’t bother.
I've always adored and loved my little Lucas to bits.
Now I can say I enjoy him.
And that is because I am changing.
I am reaching the point where I accept him completely and totally the way he is.
The way our omnipotent God made Him.
I wish I could have said this when He was younger.
But I couldn't.
Sadly, I didn't enjoy it when Luke was younger.
It was grueling, frightening, surreal. Some days it is still one or a combination of those things.
But it was me that needed to find a way to change.
Not him.
Rather, I needed to be changed.
I still have so far to go. But thankfully, gracefully, mercifully, I won’t be doing it on my own.
I was called for this mission. And there are moments (small ones) when I feel blessed simply because I was called. God knew I could do it even when I never imagined such a crazy idea.
And He didn't wait for me to be fully equipped. He threw me right in.
I once heard an analogy that helps me get through. It goes something like this: “I dreamed all my life I was going to Paris and I planned and I prepared. I was so excited. On the day of the trip I found out after a lifetime of waiting and planning that I would be going to Holland instead. I was devastated. What about all those dreams? But, although it wasn’t Paris, as I had dreamed, once the plane landed, I learned to find the beauty in Holland. And I learned to love it too.”
Life is never what we plan. It is never perfect. It is always a balance of the “good” with the “bad”.
One thing is for sure: it’s a process. A learning process.
But as I wait on Him...
and abide...
and rest...
and try not to panic about what will happen when Luke is eighteen and beyond, and what is in store for him then…
in God’s perfect timing…
wisdom and peace will come.

"God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy." - Rick Warren

Find Gina ( she is a wonderful photographer and took the pictures of Luke!) at Monkey Moon Photography

or blogging here

Comments

[Heather]

What a wonderful perspective, Gina. You have found a facet of God's character that few ever know, what a treasure.
Thank you for sharing your heart, it's beautiful.

[Kara-Noel]

I love this post! Thanks for sharing how you REALLY felt and feel. You are great!!