What can't you handle?

We get e-mails from moms often expressing their difficulties with parenting. You know, the everyday stuff we all have to deal with as a mom but often feel alone in the struggle of it all.

I home school- You know I love it. I've shared the crafts we've done and the fun I've had teaching my daughter how to read....but have I told you that I wonder at times, if we should put her in school?  *Gasp I know! I often feel less then? *Wow, really? Yes!  The moments are fleeting. I know homeschooling is best for our family and 90% of the time, I see the joy in it. But why is it that the 10% - the hard times, seem to out way the 90% of pure joy? Isn't that true of parenting? Marriage? We sometimes are so hard on ourselves that we only see the 10% and forget to focus on looking down the 90% road. I find reading blogs helps. Well, accept when I come across a home school blog where the mom seems perfect, then I get discouraged. Then again, I know no one is perfect.

But today I laughed. I was spending a nice moment reading the morning paper facebook and blog posts when I remembered Ree. We all know her, we all love her. If you don't know her, well jump on over. Your life will be changed forever....and you might even want to live on a Ranch....*sigh I DO!

So back at my ranch. I'm reading the morning paper posts while sipping from my life line cup of coffee; when all of a sudden, a bug landed on me. I jumped. My coffee spilled all over the floor. The entire cup!

Today....I can't handle my COFFEE.

Did you visit Ree's place, The Pioneer Women? She gives us a cathartic-exercise, go get yourself some parenting tools, pioneer style.

You see, she is a home school mom, she is a mom. She struggles. She laughs.

What can't you handle today? Laugh about it and then focus on the 90%  of pure joy!

disclaimer...ha Our readers have a great sense of humor so I'm not thinking you will take Ree too seriously about her "hollering" .... But if you're new around these parts well, please be kind to yourself and laugh a little! ahh...smile *

What gets you through times that take everything you’ve got?

Today's post written by Chrysula Winegar

My baby son is sobbing in the next room.  I’ve been rocking and shushing and singing and patting for over three hours.  During the day, he’s charming, happy, his joyous little self.  And every night for the past two weeks, around 1am, it begins. 

I am at my wits end.  He’s nine months old and has never yet slept through a whole night.  My eldest daughter was like this.  It took her until she was 20 months before I got more than a three-hour stretch.  I’ve either been pregnant or had a night-waking infant ever since.  So basically I haven’t slept for 7 years.  You name it, with one of my kids I’ve tried it, so you can spare me the theories.  I’ve tried very single solitary last approach.

There is no balance in seasons like these.  There is no give and take, no ebb and flow. It doesn’t matter how many hours I was up with my child the next day.  That client proposal still has to get out the door to win business.    And then the business must be executed with creativity, exceptional service and focus.  Simultaneously the other children’s needs must be met.  Some basic home management and meals are required.  Oh, and that person I love more than life itself – acknowledging his existence is always a good step.  You know the list.

I happened upon Sarah Robinson’s blog, Maverick Mom this week where she writes about expecting the unexpected . As she headed into her day after a night much like mine, in the attempt to manage it all, she asks herself “What will make my life taste the sweetest today?”  She makes her choices for those coming hours based on deep self-knowledge of her values and purpose, and acts accordingly.

I don’t always have that presence of mind in my exhaustion.  By evening of the following day, I am cranky and grumpy and capable of a tantrum that would make any 3 yr old proud.  But I do try to figure out what’s the most important thing I can accomplish that day, what matters the most.   Sometimes it has to be the proposal.  Sometimes it’s snuggles and stories and a movie in PJs.  Sometimes it’s all of those things woven in and out of each other.  There might not be much of a sense of balance.  But there can be flow.

And here’s where I am grateful for a flexible professional life.   Mother, blogger and flex-work recruiter Leanne Chase is keeping a list, and here’s mine for today. When this ends (and it always does), I can crash for an hour or two, and start over.   Maybe even take a nap later (on those rare days I can engineer it). 

How many times have you thought over and over in the midst of a crisis, “I can’t do this, I can’t do this” only to wake up the next morning or regroup at the end of a hard day having “done it”.  Somehow you found the strength and maybe even noticed a little sweetness along the way.

My son is resting now.   I stopped writing a couple paragraphs ago and had one more shot at holding him tight and doing my best to soothe whatever he’s struggling with.  The break was good for both of us.

I am wondering.  What gets you through the days (nights) that take everything you’ve got?  How do you regroup, start over and find your flow?

Love to the moon and back

(C) Copyright Chrysula Winegar

  Find Chrysula at her blog or follow her on twitter

Finding the Joy in Mothering

Today's post written by Chrysula

Finding the Joy in Mothering

Photo credit IndependenceKids.blogspot.comUma Thurman is starring in a new movie due out next month about motherhood.  She plays a SAHMommy Blogger in New York City with two kids.  Add two more kids and small business and that could be me (if only I looked like Uma).  I am curious as to how the film will portray our mothering?  Will we see the constant seesaw of the bitter and the sweet that is our daily rhythm?   I wonder.

At night around the dinner table, I ask my children “What was your best thing today?”  I might have just stormed and shouted my way through “set the table”, “eat your broccoli”, “please keep your milk in your cup or in your mouth”  and “get your hands off your sister”. 

And yet it’s always there.  “Snuggle time with Mommy” or “This lovely dinner”.  Lately we’ve branched out to “school”, “recess”, and “music class” – each declared emphatically.  I am always staggered at how quickly they can move from conflict to supreme happiness.

There’s a life lesson right there.  Our children are so quick to forgive, to move on and reclaim their joy.  Whilst I get bogged down in the details, the day-to-day detritus and sometimes forget the deep, unequivocal, rich happiness I receive from my mothering.   I am not an overly playful person and honestly don’t play with my kids that much.  Just not my thing.  But we spend a lot of time together.  When we have those moments, there can be real bliss.  For a few seconds, even minutes, everything in the world is perfect.  Then of course the next melt down comes.  And we begin again.

We have to find ways to capture those moments  to strengthen us for the remainder of the journey.  I am a great believer in journals or personal diaries.  I’ve been keeping one on and off since I was a young teen.  It is sporadic.  Something I want to do more of, consistently.  I record sad times and difficult days, but I also very consciously record my joys.  So I can remember when I need to recall those emotions the most.

I’ve also started journaling with my older children, daughters aged 5 and 7 yrs.  Once a week on Sunday afternoons we sit down at the computer.  They dictate, I am the typist.  We talk about the week.  I prompt them about things they did, experiences I know they had.  Then the rest just flows.  It is both enlightening to see what they highlight, what is important to them and relationship building, tightening that mother/daughter bond.

Let’s create the space for this conversation to happen, for joy in our homes to be discussed and shared and recognized.   If we don’t talk about our joy and take note of it, somehow I think we risk losing it.  In those times of frustration, conflict and sheer exhaustion it is elusive and difficult to remember.

I would love to hear what you do to keep the joy in your mothering.  Sometimes just asking what made our children happy today is all it takes.  And asking yourself too.  Take note: what was your best thing today.

Find Chrysula blogging here

Follower her on Twitter here

Love, to the Moon and back

 

Interview with Messy Fun Mommy life

I am so excited to bring you an interview with one of our blog writters; Cassie from Messy Fun Mommy Life!

1 1) You are a multi talented Momma!Tell us a little about your college days and the careers you have pursued.

What all are you hoping to accomplish in the career arena? (I know whatever it is you will succeed)

When I started college I was three months pregnant and only eighteen years old. Many people had doubts that I would stick to it and better yet that I would succeed. I made it work! The semester I gave birth I was enrolled in fifteen credit hours of online courses and finished with a pretty high G.P.A. When I started college I had the goal most young college students no longer have. I was going to go to college and get a job. Somewhere along the way I fell in love with learning and changed my major to philosophy. I love reading about the world and he way people work and think. I would love to one day get my doctorate in philosophy and become a professor. I have learned to take it a step at a time and deal with what is coming at me first. If you look at the big picture it is a long road but taking it day by day makes it a bit easier. I also discovered how much I love staying home with my little man which is why I started my virtual assistant business. I hope this can grow into something that I could do from home and one day teach other young mothers about balance and the importance of education!

2) You work at home and outside of your home as well. I know that being a work at home mom & a work out side of the home mom has its joys as well as its challenges.

What is the favorite part of your day?

I love mornings, which drives people crazy. Something about getting a hot cup of coffee and sitting down with my boy and checking my emails and catching up with my favorite bloggers;It’s a moment where all the parts of my life come together.

What is the most challenging part of the day?

I would say late afternoon. Aiden gets a little irritated especially if I have a lot of stuff that I am working on that day. He gets whiney and I get impatient. I am getting better at it!

3) You’re an encouragement to all but especially to other single Moms. Do you see that your life is an encouragement?

I have seen a lot of single mothers struggle to make ends meet and a lot of single moms go down roads I am happy I never had to. I hope to be an encouragement. There is a standard out there which defines the "right" way to start a family and a lot of single mothers feel there way isn't the right way. It may be non-traditional but I feel like families with a single parent can be just as rewarding and loving. It may be a challenge at times but coming to the realization that you are ok and you are going to be ok is a big step.

4) You’re a blog mom too. What inspired you to start writing? What inspires you to continue?

The first blog I ever came across was adventures in baby wearing. I loved Stephs honesty and the fact that I could read about other moms who had the same concerns and worries as me. I have had a long road getting to where I am now. If I can make even one mom realize how precious and unique she is; my job as a blogger is done!

Love To the Moon and Back,

All Moms need support~ Single Moms need support

Moms need support. All moms need a break. All moms have difficult seasons. One of my closest friends is a single Mom. I met her over 15 years ago in a coffee house when her daughter was 18 months old. She was living in a shelter, having had the courage she did to leave an abusive relationship. Over the first year that I knew her we would just run into each other at the coffee house and chat. She was having a heck of a time. Her 18 month old daughter needed heart surgery and a blood transfusion. I was no hero to this women; just a listening ear. I did end up walking along side her, my friend; a single mom. My life was and is enriched because of knowing her and we have had so many amazing times together. 15 years ago there was not a great deal of support for Single Moms. Sure there is support and there was then but what kind of support? My friend did not want to depend on others and worked hard as a home health care provider to make ends meet for her family. What she needed was a friend, emotional support.

You may be a single mom who has support. Your child’s Father may be emotionally available or at image from Making Ends Meetleast, simply available. My friend did not have this support. Many single moms do not. Today I came across a wonderful website, Making Ends Meet, support for the single Mother. The site has amazing resources and encouragement for single moms. Join their community and receive on-line or in person support!

If you are a single mom I think you will find this site useful. If you have a single mom in your life or know of a mom who would benefit from this information, (most of us do) please pass it on..

If you are interested in changing your life in the areas of Wellness, Relationships, Career, Money, and Life Balance; Start a local single moms support group chapter of Making Ends Meet

                    

About the founder:

History and Mission Making Ends Meet, Inc. a501(c)3 nonprofit organization founded in 2004. Its mission is to expand and impact the lives of single mothers, and to support and honor children living in a single parent family home; in an positive, uplifting, and loving way. We promote personal development and self-sufficiency for single working mothers nationwide.

Monique Neeley founded Making Ends Meet when she was a struggling single mother in 1996. Monique went through many struggles along the way while raising her only child. Once she was able to overcome her obstables she decided to start a cause to help other single moms that may be in need of support and a network of women to empower them. Monique was able to connect with a network of like-minded women that uplifted and guided her along the way in her tough journey at that time. She decided to create a network for all singlemoms to have a place where they can come together and learn more about who they are and to makechanges and set goals to get them to where they needed to be so that theycouldcreate a better life, not just for themselves but for their family, friends, family, and at work. This is just the beginning for all single moms across the U.S. to take charge of their lives and make a difference.

Love To the Moon and Back,