What gets you through times that take everything you’ve got?

Today's post written by Chrysula Winegar

My baby son is sobbing in the next room.  I’ve been rocking and shushing and singing and patting for over three hours.  During the day, he’s charming, happy, his joyous little self.  And every night for the past two weeks, around 1am, it begins. 

I am at my wits end.  He’s nine months old and has never yet slept through a whole night.  My eldest daughter was like this.  It took her until she was 20 months before I got more than a three-hour stretch.  I’ve either been pregnant or had a night-waking infant ever since.  So basically I haven’t slept for 7 years.  You name it, with one of my kids I’ve tried it, so you can spare me the theories.  I’ve tried very single solitary last approach.

There is no balance in seasons like these.  There is no give and take, no ebb and flow. It doesn’t matter how many hours I was up with my child the next day.  That client proposal still has to get out the door to win business.    And then the business must be executed with creativity, exceptional service and focus.  Simultaneously the other children’s needs must be met.  Some basic home management and meals are required.  Oh, and that person I love more than life itself – acknowledging his existence is always a good step.  You know the list.

I happened upon Sarah Robinson’s blog, Maverick Mom this week where she writes about expecting the unexpected . As she headed into her day after a night much like mine, in the attempt to manage it all, she asks herself “What will make my life taste the sweetest today?”  She makes her choices for those coming hours based on deep self-knowledge of her values and purpose, and acts accordingly.

I don’t always have that presence of mind in my exhaustion.  By evening of the following day, I am cranky and grumpy and capable of a tantrum that would make any 3 yr old proud.  But I do try to figure out what’s the most important thing I can accomplish that day, what matters the most.   Sometimes it has to be the proposal.  Sometimes it’s snuggles and stories and a movie in PJs.  Sometimes it’s all of those things woven in and out of each other.  There might not be much of a sense of balance.  But there can be flow.

And here’s where I am grateful for a flexible professional life.   Mother, blogger and flex-work recruiter Leanne Chase is keeping a list, and here’s mine for today. When this ends (and it always does), I can crash for an hour or two, and start over.   Maybe even take a nap later (on those rare days I can engineer it). 

How many times have you thought over and over in the midst of a crisis, “I can’t do this, I can’t do this” only to wake up the next morning or regroup at the end of a hard day having “done it”.  Somehow you found the strength and maybe even noticed a little sweetness along the way.

My son is resting now.   I stopped writing a couple paragraphs ago and had one more shot at holding him tight and doing my best to soothe whatever he’s struggling with.  The break was good for both of us.

I am wondering.  What gets you through the days (nights) that take everything you’ve got?  How do you regroup, start over and find your flow?

Love to the moon and back

(C) Copyright Chrysula Winegar

  Find Chrysula at her blog or follow her on twitter

Finding the Joy in Mothering

Today's post written by Chrysula

Finding the Joy in Mothering

Photo credit IndependenceKids.blogspot.comUma Thurman is starring in a new movie due out next month about motherhood.  She plays a SAHMommy Blogger in New York City with two kids.  Add two more kids and small business and that could be me (if only I looked like Uma).  I am curious as to how the film will portray our mothering?  Will we see the constant seesaw of the bitter and the sweet that is our daily rhythm?   I wonder.

At night around the dinner table, I ask my children “What was your best thing today?”  I might have just stormed and shouted my way through “set the table”, “eat your broccoli”, “please keep your milk in your cup or in your mouth”  and “get your hands off your sister”. 

And yet it’s always there.  “Snuggle time with Mommy” or “This lovely dinner”.  Lately we’ve branched out to “school”, “recess”, and “music class” – each declared emphatically.  I am always staggered at how quickly they can move from conflict to supreme happiness.

There’s a life lesson right there.  Our children are so quick to forgive, to move on and reclaim their joy.  Whilst I get bogged down in the details, the day-to-day detritus and sometimes forget the deep, unequivocal, rich happiness I receive from my mothering.   I am not an overly playful person and honestly don’t play with my kids that much.  Just not my thing.  But we spend a lot of time together.  When we have those moments, there can be real bliss.  For a few seconds, even minutes, everything in the world is perfect.  Then of course the next melt down comes.  And we begin again.

We have to find ways to capture those moments  to strengthen us for the remainder of the journey.  I am a great believer in journals or personal diaries.  I’ve been keeping one on and off since I was a young teen.  It is sporadic.  Something I want to do more of, consistently.  I record sad times and difficult days, but I also very consciously record my joys.  So I can remember when I need to recall those emotions the most.

I’ve also started journaling with my older children, daughters aged 5 and 7 yrs.  Once a week on Sunday afternoons we sit down at the computer.  They dictate, I am the typist.  We talk about the week.  I prompt them about things they did, experiences I know they had.  Then the rest just flows.  It is both enlightening to see what they highlight, what is important to them and relationship building, tightening that mother/daughter bond.

Let’s create the space for this conversation to happen, for joy in our homes to be discussed and shared and recognized.   If we don’t talk about our joy and take note of it, somehow I think we risk losing it.  In those times of frustration, conflict and sheer exhaustion it is elusive and difficult to remember.

I would love to hear what you do to keep the joy in your mothering.  Sometimes just asking what made our children happy today is all it takes.  And asking yourself too.  Take note: what was your best thing today.

Find Chrysula blogging here

Follower her on Twitter here

Love, to the Moon and back

 

A new writer~Meet Chrysula

We are thrilled to announce that Chrysula Winger is a new writer for our blog here at the perch! Chrysula is smart, witty and her biography is a great read! Please welcome Chrysula to the perch!

We will post her article tomorrow on Finding the Joy in Mothering~

photo credit MariaHunter.comChrysula Winegar - Biography

Chrysula Winegar has a Masters in Organizational Behavior from the University of London and a Bachelors of Economics from the University of Queensland.  She has over 15 years experience in marketing, recruitment, training and business management in several blue-chip corporations in Sydney (Australia), London (United Kingdom) and New York (USA).  Companies include Ernst & Young, NatWest UK and most recently Estee Lauder Companies where she was the International Marketing Manager for the Aveda and Bumble & bumble brands for almost five years, launching, training and growing these brands in various overseas markets during that time. 

In recent years, Chrysula has nurtured her love of art and has become a private art dealer, working predominantly with a small group of contemporary American and British artists and private collectors.  She also continues her passion for organizational development, commentating regularly on work-life balance issues and the relationship between organizations and families.  She provides selective private career coaching. She is a regular speaker, trainer and writer on a variety of professional and personal development topics. 

She has volunteered with her church in Manhattan as a Youth Group Leader for at risk teen girls, developed and implemented an Emergency Preparedness Plan for over 5000 members in Manhattan after 9/11 and also volunteered as the church’s local Director of Community and Media Relations for the last 3 years.

Chrysula is originally from Australia and also holds British Citizenship.  She is working on her third passport to become an American Citizen as soon as she can remember all 13 of the original States.  She has lived in five countries and ten cities.  At age 41, she is currently living in her 37^th home.

Chrysula is married to Warren Winegar, and is the mother of four children – two irascible and brilliant daughters and two witty and Zen sons who make all the rest of the things she has done with her life look like she was slacking.   Chrysula and her family have recently relocated to Connecticut where she is still in denial about no longer living in the city.

You can find Chrysula at http://chrysula.blogspot.com or follow her on twitter at www.twitter.com/Chrysula.

 Love, to the moon and back

 

      "A single conversation with a wise man (or women) is better than ten years of study."  Chinese Proverb

NYC by HeatherI have the good fortune of meeting with two friends, fellow bloggers and Mom's in business for coffee and play dates every now and again! These two wonderful women are worth meeting. I get to meet up with them in real life....you get to visit their cyber home. They would love to meet you!

Gina from Monkey Moon Photography

    read here blog here

Kara-Noel at Eli's Lids.com

read her blog here

Just thinking about how fortunate we are to have so many wonderful women in our lives. These ladies are filled with wisdom and will keep you smiling too!

We love them to the moon and back and know you will too!

Recovering~ Blessed Nest Weekend round up

Wow, I'm tired. Do you ever feel that way? HA HA. If you are a mom of young children, you feel that way. If you are busy and living life you feel that way every now and again and if you have two young children and have packed and moved your life to a much smaller living space; you feel that way. That's me. All of the above is me. Blogging was at a minimum this past week but we have some exciting things coming your way in the near future! My husband and I are determined to get and live debt free. We have some amazing mentors in our life who lead debt free lives and have an abundance. They are simply wise and creative! Kara- Noel from Eli's Lids is someone I look to for wisdom in the area of financing! She will be writing a post for us regarding  credit and why you CAN live without it!

Weekend round up~ our busy week.

Sierra, Heather's wonderful sister gave birth to baby William! Congratulations Si! Pictures coming soon.

Donna moved...enough said about that

Donna and Heather BFFHeather continues to make everything happen and get you your Nesting Pillows despite the challenges we face as a growing small business determined to stay debt free. Call us crazy...go ahead you can.

Flash from the past~

Donna shares her personal story celebrating World Breastfeeding week

Happy Day~ The launch of our New Blessed Nest Web Site

Greening Up the Neighborhood~ My girls clean up the park

AND Don't forget.....

 Blessed Nest is teaming with The Riley Project for the Month of August:

Purchase a "Riley's Raindrop" in support of The Riley Project here

$39.00 regular price $42.00

 Love, to the moon and back